What makes me think that Humpty Dumpty was a girl

Disclaimer: The author hasn’t conducted a background check on the subject and is only proposing a theory which has full chances of being proved wrong. Any inconsistencies regarding facts are unintentional and purely out of disregard for the information so easily availlable on the internet, and so contrary to her theory, that it would have made the following entry impossible to post. Since the author is in want of something to discuss, she has resorted to ranting about topics of little consequence, for example, nursery rhymes. Do bear with her.

Humpty Dumpty was a girl. I have full reason to believe so. Just because the illustrator (who was born in a man’s world, and was a man himself) took it upon himself to portray the subject of our discussion as a male, it doesn’t mean that the creator of this rhyme was referring to a man. Nowhere in the poem is the pronoun he used yet everyone is so sure about Humpty Dumpty’s sexuality because their notions were formed from what they saw in the picture books. So the illustrator has to be blamed. We can’t go and ask the author about his thoughts on the subject since s/he had died long before the rhyme was availlable in print. Now, it isn’t entirely the fault of the illuminator since he had used his own imaginations due to the lack of specifications from the creator’s side. Had he but used a bit of his brains and thought about the subject awhile, he would surely have gotten as far in his interpretations as I have. I don’t boast about being a Humpty Dumpty academic (it surely seems an interesting field) but my theory does stand a chance against what has been popularly held to be true. (Anyway, who cares about modesty?)

Humpty Dumpty was indeed a girl. Yes, huge, fat and not so good to look at, but a girl nevertheless. That is where her fault lay. She was was born a woman in a time when possessing the characteristics that she had, wasn’t the best feature in a woman. And so, this rhyme had been created to forewarn the budding women about such things right from their childhood.

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. That isn’t something that a proper girl would do. But you know, kids, she was a defiant creature right from the start because she had never benefitted from education. She never listened to the well-meaning advice of elders like me, and you will see that it did her no good.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. That is what happens to children who don’t listen. I dare say she deserved it. Poor beings, her parents must have been. To have endured such a difficult child for so long only to find that she has smashed to pieces! All she ever did to them was bring misery. I doubt they were rich people, or they would never have let their child go out of their hand. But this happens at times and has dire consequences.

All the king‘s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again. I know it is sad, children, but even the king refused to put her pieces together. They just say that they couldn’t, try as they might, but we know the secret. They didn’t actually tried, only pretended to. Who indeed would want to restore a girl like her to proper health? Isn’t she too detestable even to waste our efforts on her? Rather, we should honour her, for, in her death she gave to the world a very important gift. A lesson to be learnt. She has set an example for all of you to behave just as you ought. Failing that, you know what the consequences are.” – the enlightening words of an esteemed governess who chooses to remain anonymous and impart her teachings.
Hopefully you guys benefitted from the advice.
Please don’t hate me for the post. I had to put up something and this was the only thing that has come to my mind in many days. Aloha.


13 thoughts on “What makes me think that Humpty Dumpty was a girl

  1. What a great post. It made me smile. I believe that Humpty Dumpty was actually a cannon which fell and broke and couldn’t be repaired…but why let facts get in the way of a good story. Well done. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. wow ! I love your imagination and your ability to think out of the box. Really enjoyed reading this post. looking fw to see what you are going to come up next with. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

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